Slayer on the Screen! It is something I have contemplated, but never acted upon. I had the opportunity to do so at Shadow Lane in Vegas this year, alongside Leia Ann Woods, for the legendary Clare Fonda. I declined because, at that time, I was inactive in the scene. The opportunity has arisen again, with a different company, and I am considering whether it is for me.
I guess the main driver is that it would be fun, and a memento that I would always have to remind me of how I reaped so much reward by taking a chance and booking that first ever session only 2 years ago. Perhaps I should call it a *further memento* as a future wife is clearly the ultimate reward for a chance email.
Also, as a male bottom character Slayer would be as unique in CP film as he is in session. It may be an entirely new spin on the F/m interaction. At the very least, it would be entertaining for the viewer!
My only concern is control! Once done, it can't be undone. I will be committed to film, and that film will belong to someone else. That permanence strikes me as a unique concept in my life. Memories fade. Revisionism warps events. Film, however, is undeniable as a record.
Moreover, I can't help but wonder if it is better to hold something back. I am a private person. I have a very small circle of close associates and, beyond them, I avoid all but the most superficial and necessary interactions in my personal life.
I could argue that the exposure is Slayer's, not mine, and that Slayer has always been a caraciture to present in the scene with me at the controls. However, there is still that absence of deniability if I decided to walk away from all of this. As it stands, I can do so leaving virtually no trace of my scene life and write it off as something I was once interested in. If filmed, that ability is negated.
In a convoluted way, I suppose I am of the opinon that film is the ultimate committment to the CP Scene. I'm just not sure that it is a committment I need to make......
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