For a minute there, I lost myself......

This haunting Radiohead lyric, from one of my favourite songs, is apt given events at school on Friday.

My return scene, after 8 months in exile from group play, was fantastic. Those canings over the horse were amongst the most enjoyable I've had, as the classroom fell silent save for the alternate left and right cane strokes whistling and cracking. I did, however, manage to avoid the ultimate sanction; OTK spanking. It devastates me and is something I genuinely struggle with and have only consented to with Mrs Slayer ( Leia Ann Woods ) and my beloved Witch.

In fairness, it would never again have been as easy to return. The scene and venue are those closest to my heart, but I was concerned that the Slayer character had graduated and left forever for the big classroom in the sky. I was wrong!

Just like always, sat in the pub beforehand with my partner in crime the beautiful Jadie Reece, I was nervous. That's rare for me. In fact, it is unique to that venue and that scene. Even Judicial style scenes scarcely cause me to raise an eyebrow, but this place blows my mind. Why? Simple, it is my ultimate fantasy come true.

Everyone who sees Slayer in school asks about the character. His eyeballing the teachers, untidy uniform, bad language, defiance, one-liners and his contrasting top academic performance on a whim that is most frustrating of all. Yet beneath, the protective instinct and, ultimately, the love he has for his Headmistress and Deputy Head and his need for them to try to salvage something in him.

He is a reflection of me, and my personality, as a younger man in high school. The relationships a reflection of the complex interaction I had with a real teacher of my own. The only person then game enough, and able enough, to match me and for much of my life the only person I ever truly loved. So when I play that role, it straddles fantasy and reality. And when I am Slayer, if only for a few fleeting moments in time, I lose myself in that twilight zone between the two.....

I would like to sincerely thank all those who made this such an epic day. You know who you are ;)

Spanking in Music Video

Following on with the theme of Mainstream Spanking references, there are a number of examples of CP in rock/punk music videos.

Next week, I make my return to the CP scene with an afternoon group detention in what is widely accepted as the most authentic classroom around. The school character Slayer is the nightmare of the classroom. Perfectly capable of being a Straight A student he dedicates most of his energy to non-conformance. Brooding and menacing, he brings chaos to the classroom and generally ends up battered, bloodied but never broken.

The character is so close to my heart because he is me as I was in high school, but in an environment where there are CP consequences. There are others aspects of his character and interactions that are deeply ingrained in my psyche and I will address these in later posts.

For now, enjoy this video. It is fitting for the storm that's coming.....

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Trust me, you will never have been to anything quite like this.....

Mainstream Spanking Startles

One of my areas of extreme geekery in the world of CP kink is mainstream media references or depiction. For as long as I can remember images, discussions, threats and footage of CP have been logged in the dusty filing cabinets of my mind from television, film and books. In future posts I will explore the reasons why I think this is so.

Having perused many of the internet's databases and sites relating to this, I am confident that many I am aware of are absent from record. I intend to rectify this! I had this discussion with fellow geek Richard Windsor in Vegas earlier this year and on numerous occassions with Mrs Slayer, Leia Ann Woods. Both were of the opinion that I should commit this section of the Yellow Brick Road of my mind to paper ( or keyboard more accurately ).

So, for starters here is an excerpt from last week of Scottish presenter Lorraine Kelly giving *comedian* Noel Fielding a spanking on quiz show Never Mind the Buzzcocks

Hmmmm, I wonder!!

This photo intrigues me for a number of reasons. They are probably teachers, probably in the U.S, probably in the 1950s. Well, straight away that ticks all the boxes for me. They appear also to be little older than the seniors they may be teaching.

They are obviously amused ( or titillated ) by something or by someone. Has the normally obvious behaviour of the attention-seeking class clown finally produced a moment worthy of his moniker? Has the bully come a cropper at the hands of the weedy kid? Has the nauseating sycophant been embarassed by his exasperated classmates? Has the bad boy, that brooding, defiant misanthrope elicited in them reversion to girlish excitement as they see in him an alternative to their own pastel, neutered existence. Who knows?

The one on the left is holding what in all likelihood is a blackboard pointer. It could be a cane but if we accept our original postulate that it is a U.S photo, then that is unlikely. Although she could still use it in the vicinity of the disobedient if warranted, I suspect it would be a wooden paddle that she would remove from her desk drawer suggestively to quell any sign of mutiny. What do you think?

Whatever the truth behind the photo, I can easily imagine being sat in the classroom before them, my mind firmly set on another Teacher Slaying ;)

Back in the Saddle

I got spanked on Saturday. For a CP Scene based blog this is scarcely a revelation, but for me it was the first (non drunken, pre-sex, bed annihilating) CP I had taken for months. It was awesome. I felt immediately connected again to the world I had left behind, ablaze in my mind, almost a year ago.

So, back in the saddle? Perhaps! Only this time the saddle is not on a horse that can be startled and thrown. The saddle is on a giant, motherfucking elephant with armour plating. My hiatus has left me wiser, and more aware of the psychological investment I had made in the scene. My coach, the exquisite Dr Whacker Woods, is moving me on to paddles and canes next (I don't bother with straps generally, they bore me) so that I can resurrect my once ridiculous tolerance.

I have been invited to an upcoming, small group event organised by close friends which will mark my return to scene activity. I am anticipating it with both excitement and trepidation because it is my favourite of all scenarios. But then that's the buzz, isn't it? In every sense of the term, it's *back to school* for me........Tick, tock!!!

Thrown from the Horse on the Yellow Brick Road

Aside from a mixture of metaphors, the title of this post refers to the circumstances which elicited my withdrawl from CP Scene play and my move, like any good competitor past their peak, into commentary and management.

The acceleration from a first ever otk hand spanking to judicial level CP in little over 6 months and on to dark, protracted scenes and public JCP left me with very few further options. I had sprayed blood up my back and onto the ceiling, broken implements, trembled and gasped my way through shock and won scars on my ass and thighs that will never recede. Quite simply, there was no challenge left in it!

I had also experienced the worst of the scene. A hard limit that was ignored and a psychological impact that left me despising the whole game. I never recovered from that and have played only 3 times since.

So, I decided that my future lay *beyond the yellow brick road* as Sir Elton so eloquently put it. This fantasy journey that I had careered through at full tilt had become detrimental. The trust was gone, and without trust you simply cannot engage in CP play.

This past week, for the first time in months, I have felt the slightest urge to unretire. I know it will not, and can not, be as it was. Once the trust goes, there will always be that little shadow of doubt seared into the psyche. Like a biker after their first serious spill, future rides will always be tempered by that sub-conscious caution and those highest of risks that are no longer taken. Still, I will get back on that horse, if only to try a gentle canter before dismounting again to safety.

Perhaps the passage of time does soften our standpoint, perhaps I have exorcised the ghosts of that horrific experience and unfucked the memories and feelings in my own mind, or perhaps I still have unfinished business and exploring left on the million laneways that run from the Yellow Brick Road......