Although I have enjoyed a great number of CP and associated scenes in the past 2 years, with varying degrees of extremity, it has generally involved only 2 dommes. The future Mrs Slayer, Leia Ann Woods, and my beloved Mistress Switch have formed the basis for most of what I have done and this will continue to be the case for as long as we all enjoy it. They have opened doors in my mind to parts of my psyche I thought could never be accessed.
Until a few months ago, I had no inclination to play with anyone else. That changed as I became closer to a friend of Mrs Slayer's who I have since developed a great relationship with. Whilst we immediately clicked on a personal level, and I warmed to her as soon as we met ( somewhat of a rarity for me ) , it was only later that it became apparent that we could interact spectacularly in a scene.
The lady is acutely perceptive and has already observed the weakness in Slayer's character; be nice to him and he can't cope. As such, the mind games have begun and she has already demonstrated adept skill at picking the buttons to push. This is due to come to blows shortly into the new year when this legend of the CP scene and I are due to be together. With the added ingredient of Mrs Slayer potentially being present for the clash, this is likely to push me psychologically in a whole new way.....
Monday, 19 December 2011
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
To Film or Not to Film?
Slayer on the Screen! It is something I have contemplated, but never acted upon. I had the opportunity to do so at Shadow Lane in Vegas this year, alongside Leia Ann Woods, for the legendary Clare Fonda. I declined because, at that time, I was inactive in the scene. The opportunity has arisen again, with a different company, and I am considering whether it is for me.
I guess the main driver is that it would be fun, and a memento that I would always have to remind me of how I reaped so much reward by taking a chance and booking that first ever session only 2 years ago. Perhaps I should call it a *further memento* as a future wife is clearly the ultimate reward for a chance email.
Also, as a male bottom character Slayer would be as unique in CP film as he is in session. It may be an entirely new spin on the F/m interaction. At the very least, it would be entertaining for the viewer!
My only concern is control! Once done, it can't be undone. I will be committed to film, and that film will belong to someone else. That permanence strikes me as a unique concept in my life. Memories fade. Revisionism warps events. Film, however, is undeniable as a record.
Moreover, I can't help but wonder if it is better to hold something back. I am a private person. I have a very small circle of close associates and, beyond them, I avoid all but the most superficial and necessary interactions in my personal life.
I could argue that the exposure is Slayer's, not mine, and that Slayer has always been a caraciture to present in the scene with me at the controls. However, there is still that absence of deniability if I decided to walk away from all of this. As it stands, I can do so leaving virtually no trace of my scene life and write it off as something I was once interested in. If filmed, that ability is negated.
In a convoluted way, I suppose I am of the opinon that film is the ultimate committment to the CP Scene. I'm just not sure that it is a committment I need to make......
I guess the main driver is that it would be fun, and a memento that I would always have to remind me of how I reaped so much reward by taking a chance and booking that first ever session only 2 years ago. Perhaps I should call it a *further memento* as a future wife is clearly the ultimate reward for a chance email.
Also, as a male bottom character Slayer would be as unique in CP film as he is in session. It may be an entirely new spin on the F/m interaction. At the very least, it would be entertaining for the viewer!
My only concern is control! Once done, it can't be undone. I will be committed to film, and that film will belong to someone else. That permanence strikes me as a unique concept in my life. Memories fade. Revisionism warps events. Film, however, is undeniable as a record.
Moreover, I can't help but wonder if it is better to hold something back. I am a private person. I have a very small circle of close associates and, beyond them, I avoid all but the most superficial and necessary interactions in my personal life.
I could argue that the exposure is Slayer's, not mine, and that Slayer has always been a caraciture to present in the scene with me at the controls. However, there is still that absence of deniability if I decided to walk away from all of this. As it stands, I can do so leaving virtually no trace of my scene life and write it off as something I was once interested in. If filmed, that ability is negated.
In a convoluted way, I suppose I am of the opinon that film is the ultimate committment to the CP Scene. I'm just not sure that it is a committment I need to make......
Saturday, 3 December 2011
Bottom vs Sub
One of aspects of the CP world I was taught when I became involved in the scene was the specific jargon that prevails. It became apparent that my use of the term *sub* was inaccurate, and that I was a *bottom* more accurately. The difference? Once defers, one defies. I, most definitely, am the latter. Or am I?
The concept, for example, of my submitting BDSM-style to a PVC clad Dominatrix, addressing her as *Mistress*, kissing various parts of her anatomy upon instruction or letting her poke me with a sharp stick whilst confined in a cage is entirely alien to me. Equally, the notion of treating a lady as such or behaving in an especially misogynist manner as a male *top* ( as I have witnessed some do in the vicinity of friends of mine ) is not one that sits well with me.
My role has always been deeply rooted in resistance, defiance and the deliberate attraction of CP to prove that I will prevail. I don't conform, I don't quit, I don't tap and I sure as hell don't revert to submissive behaviour to win favour. And yet at times I wish I could. That I could accept my punishment, acknowledge my wrongdoing, defer to the will and judgement of Dr Woods or Ms Switch and allow them to dominate me.
In my last post I referred to Slayer's need for his teachers to salvage something in him. Does he want them to beat him ( literally and figuratively )? He needs to be taken right to the limit, and maybe beyond, so that he can let go. So that, momentarily, he is completely vulnerable and at the mercy of the two figures who care enough to try to save him and who he loves and trusts enough for it to be meaningful. Is this the behaviour of someone who is only a *bottom*, without submissive tendencies???
I suspect that there will be more to come in this respect in future scenes. Whether or not I can truly cross that threshold of submission remains to be seen. One thing, however, is for damn sure. If I can, it will be the most intense sensation to date and the domme(s) and I will have torn the house down, and me apart, to get there......
The concept, for example, of my submitting BDSM-style to a PVC clad Dominatrix, addressing her as *Mistress*, kissing various parts of her anatomy upon instruction or letting her poke me with a sharp stick whilst confined in a cage is entirely alien to me. Equally, the notion of treating a lady as such or behaving in an especially misogynist manner as a male *top* ( as I have witnessed some do in the vicinity of friends of mine ) is not one that sits well with me.
My role has always been deeply rooted in resistance, defiance and the deliberate attraction of CP to prove that I will prevail. I don't conform, I don't quit, I don't tap and I sure as hell don't revert to submissive behaviour to win favour. And yet at times I wish I could. That I could accept my punishment, acknowledge my wrongdoing, defer to the will and judgement of Dr Woods or Ms Switch and allow them to dominate me.
In my last post I referred to Slayer's need for his teachers to salvage something in him. Does he want them to beat him ( literally and figuratively )? He needs to be taken right to the limit, and maybe beyond, so that he can let go. So that, momentarily, he is completely vulnerable and at the mercy of the two figures who care enough to try to save him and who he loves and trusts enough for it to be meaningful. Is this the behaviour of someone who is only a *bottom*, without submissive tendencies???
I suspect that there will be more to come in this respect in future scenes. Whether or not I can truly cross that threshold of submission remains to be seen. One thing, however, is for damn sure. If I can, it will be the most intense sensation to date and the domme(s) and I will have torn the house down, and me apart, to get there......
Monday, 28 November 2011
For a minute there, I lost myself......
This haunting Radiohead lyric, from one of my favourite songs, is apt given events at school on Friday.
My return scene, after 8 months in exile from group play, was fantastic. Those canings over the horse were amongst the most enjoyable I've had, as the classroom fell silent save for the alternate left and right cane strokes whistling and cracking. I did, however, manage to avoid the ultimate sanction; OTK spanking. It devastates me and is something I genuinely struggle with and have only consented to with Mrs Slayer ( Leia Ann Woods ) and my beloved Witch.
In fairness, it would never again have been as easy to return. The scene and venue are those closest to my heart, but I was concerned that the Slayer character had graduated and left forever for the big classroom in the sky. I was wrong!
Just like always, sat in the pub beforehand with my partner in crime the beautiful Jadie Reece, I was nervous. That's rare for me. In fact, it is unique to that venue and that scene. Even Judicial style scenes scarcely cause me to raise an eyebrow, but this place blows my mind. Why? Simple, it is my ultimate fantasy come true.
Everyone who sees Slayer in school asks about the character. His eyeballing the teachers, untidy uniform, bad language, defiance, one-liners and his contrasting top academic performance on a whim that is most frustrating of all. Yet beneath, the protective instinct and, ultimately, the love he has for his Headmistress and Deputy Head and his need for them to try to salvage something in him.
He is a reflection of me, and my personality, as a younger man in high school. The relationships a reflection of the complex interaction I had with a real teacher of my own. The only person then game enough, and able enough, to match me and for much of my life the only person I ever truly loved. So when I play that role, it straddles fantasy and reality. And when I am Slayer, if only for a few fleeting moments in time, I lose myself in that twilight zone between the two.....
I would like to sincerely thank all those who made this such an epic day. You know who you are ;)
My return scene, after 8 months in exile from group play, was fantastic. Those canings over the horse were amongst the most enjoyable I've had, as the classroom fell silent save for the alternate left and right cane strokes whistling and cracking. I did, however, manage to avoid the ultimate sanction; OTK spanking. It devastates me and is something I genuinely struggle with and have only consented to with Mrs Slayer ( Leia Ann Woods ) and my beloved Witch.
In fairness, it would never again have been as easy to return. The scene and venue are those closest to my heart, but I was concerned that the Slayer character had graduated and left forever for the big classroom in the sky. I was wrong!
Just like always, sat in the pub beforehand with my partner in crime the beautiful Jadie Reece, I was nervous. That's rare for me. In fact, it is unique to that venue and that scene. Even Judicial style scenes scarcely cause me to raise an eyebrow, but this place blows my mind. Why? Simple, it is my ultimate fantasy come true.
Everyone who sees Slayer in school asks about the character. His eyeballing the teachers, untidy uniform, bad language, defiance, one-liners and his contrasting top academic performance on a whim that is most frustrating of all. Yet beneath, the protective instinct and, ultimately, the love he has for his Headmistress and Deputy Head and his need for them to try to salvage something in him.
He is a reflection of me, and my personality, as a younger man in high school. The relationships a reflection of the complex interaction I had with a real teacher of my own. The only person then game enough, and able enough, to match me and for much of my life the only person I ever truly loved. So when I play that role, it straddles fantasy and reality. And when I am Slayer, if only for a few fleeting moments in time, I lose myself in that twilight zone between the two.....
I would like to sincerely thank all those who made this such an epic day. You know who you are ;)
Friday, 18 November 2011
Spanking in Music Video
Following on with the theme of Mainstream Spanking references, there are a number of examples of CP in rock/punk music videos.
Next week, I make my return to the CP scene with an afternoon group detention in what is widely accepted as the most authentic classroom around. The school character Slayer is the nightmare of the classroom. Perfectly capable of being a Straight A student he dedicates most of his energy to non-conformance. Brooding and menacing, he brings chaos to the classroom and generally ends up battered, bloodied but never broken.
The character is so close to my heart because he is me as I was in high school, but in an environment where there are CP consequences. There are others aspects of his character and interactions that are deeply ingrained in my psyche and I will address these in later posts.
For now, enjoy this video. It is fitting for the storm that's coming.....
Next week, I make my return to the CP scene with an afternoon group detention in what is widely accepted as the most authentic classroom around. The school character Slayer is the nightmare of the classroom. Perfectly capable of being a Straight A student he dedicates most of his energy to non-conformance. Brooding and menacing, he brings chaos to the classroom and generally ends up battered, bloodied but never broken.
The character is so close to my heart because he is me as I was in high school, but in an environment where there are CP consequences. There are others aspects of his character and interactions that are deeply ingrained in my psyche and I will address these in later posts.
For now, enjoy this video. It is fitting for the storm that's coming.....
Monday, 7 November 2011
Slayers FemDom CP Events Dedicated Blog
The Blog based promotional site for the ultimate FemDom Corporal Punishment Party Event is live
slayerscp.blogspot.com
Our launch event is scheduled for Friday 10th February, 2012 from 12.30pm-5pm in Central London. It will be an epic day so, if you have a Sub or Bottom kink and need to be disciplined by the best female practioners of CP around, then come see us!!!
Trust me, you will never have been to anything quite like this.....
slayerscp.blogspot.com
Our launch event is scheduled for Friday 10th February, 2012 from 12.30pm-5pm in Central London. It will be an epic day so, if you have a Sub or Bottom kink and need to be disciplined by the best female practioners of CP around, then come see us!!!
Trust me, you will never have been to anything quite like this.....
Saturday, 29 October 2011
Mainstream Spanking Startles
One of my areas of extreme geekery in the world of CP kink is mainstream media references or depiction. For as long as I can remember images, discussions, threats and footage of CP have been logged in the dusty filing cabinets of my mind from television, film and books. In future posts I will explore the reasons why I think this is so.
Having perused many of the internet's databases and sites relating to this, I am confident that many I am aware of are absent from record. I intend to rectify this! I had this discussion with fellow geek Richard Windsor in Vegas earlier this year and on numerous occassions with Mrs Slayer, Leia Ann Woods. Both were of the opinion that I should commit this section of the Yellow Brick Road of my mind to paper ( or keyboard more accurately ).
So, for starters here is an excerpt from last week of Scottish presenter Lorraine Kelly giving *comedian* Noel Fielding a spanking on quiz show Never Mind the Buzzcocks
Having perused many of the internet's databases and sites relating to this, I am confident that many I am aware of are absent from record. I intend to rectify this! I had this discussion with fellow geek Richard Windsor in Vegas earlier this year and on numerous occassions with Mrs Slayer, Leia Ann Woods. Both were of the opinion that I should commit this section of the Yellow Brick Road of my mind to paper ( or keyboard more accurately ).
So, for starters here is an excerpt from last week of Scottish presenter Lorraine Kelly giving *comedian* Noel Fielding a spanking on quiz show Never Mind the Buzzcocks
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